"Hidden in full view" Project 2021

Seeing as I am going to pursue this project for as long as I can, or until I get sidetracked…. I thought I would write a quick bit of info about why and how this idea developed. Bit of a caveat, I waffle a lot so it probably won’t be that quick.

I guess the idea came from 2 places really. I am fascinated by children’s drawings how they lack inhibition and fear of judgement when they are creating. Another artist taught me its also because they haven’t developed their inner critic….. unlike me when I’m creating, my inner critic has very much developed an erratic opinion and very loud outspoken voice. Anyway, I’m digressing, essential, I think it is beautiful how many young children sing, draw and dance without concern, truly feeling and being themselves without judgement.

These 2 artworks are from my 100 heads challenge, where my children drew onto the portraits I had created. My children both have very different personalities, but would definitely attribute my younger child’s confidence, due to the fact she is younger, she is feels more “free”. My daughter added to the female portrait and my son to the male portrait.

The other source for inspiration was the televsion programme “Behind the mask”- if you haven’t seen it, then basically professional singers and other “celebrities” who aren’t singers, are completely concealed in the most wonderful costumes, and also their speaking voices are distorted to conceal their identity as well. These people then sing in front of a judging panel and the judges try and guess the person “Behind the mask”

On one episode, one of the contestants, who was a footballer, said that he did it because it was something he wouldn’t normally have the confidence to do, but this way he felt he could do it because he was “Hidden in full view.” I couldn’t get those words out of my head.

This idea really got me thinking about the masks we wear in our day to day lives, both physical and metaphorical. How these adaptations can make us feel free to be more ourselves, or in fact help us to protect and conceal ourselves.

I think there are plenty of artists who use their art in this way. It is a resource to reveal emotions but still the feeling and meaning can remain private to the artist- again “Hidden in full view”.

My painting (below) on the left has a personal meaning -in the original reference photo, the little girl isn’t holding an apple, this is an addition I made, and its symbolizes something significant to me- something I don’t wish to share but yet still I can through my painting.

I find the whole idea fascinating- how something that can conceal us also reveals us.

I love singing, but i don’t sing in front of anyone other than my children, not even my husband who I have been with for almost 23 years… I might impersonate someone singing but not sing with my own voice. I won’t even record myself singing as I don’t want to hear what it actually sounds like - as if I knew that, I might not sing at all.

I really dislike having my photograph taken. I carry this face with me everywhere but yet I still don’t want to be faced with the reality of what other people see. I have posed three times now, with accessories on in order to do 3 self portraits and I found this far more comfortable to do- including the portrait below on the right where I am wearing the funny glasses and nose- The moustache and eyebrows are my own ;)

I absolutely love, and even cry at people excelling at being true to themselves, or people who buck the trend, or break tradition or stereotypes- it is such a beautiful thing- so why is it so may of us feel unable to do this?

What is this fear that we develop of showing our true self? And why do these masks of all kinds feature in our day to day lives? Why do they make it easier to be “ourselves”?

I thought it would be fun to explore this theme a bit further. I held a vote on Instagram for volunteers for my project- “Hidden in full view”- whereby people volunteered to act as a muse for a painting. I would organise sending these individuals a prop or accessory of my choice and their challenge is create photos for me to use, including the selected prop/accessory. I am intrigued to see how people interact with the prop, will they assume a certain persona relating to what I have sent them, will they feel more comfortable having their photo taken because of the prop/accessory? Will this prop/accessory act as a mask for them, just like with the TV programme “Behind the mask” and increase their confidence?

So far I have sent 3 props out to 3 people in 3 different countries, and I know nothing about any of them. So its going to be really interesting for me losing control over who I am painting, and the references I will be working from. So far all 3 people have agreed to answer questions about the experience so I will be adding further blogs to share their thoughts about it all as well.

The artwork below is the first in the series, and it’s a self portrait, called “This is me”…… I can’t wait for more to follow

Thank you for reading xxx