“Do not wait until the conditions are perfect to begin. Beginning makes the conditions perfect.”

– Alan Cohen

If you read my blog post “I stopped making something I wanted to, and that's ok”… you’ll understand that I decided to create blogs from a book I had started to write instead of pursuing it as a book. So this blog is one of the other chapters from the book.

Art Materials and challenges

I've previously mentioned that Lucy Pass was the artist who inspired me to do the 100 heads Portrait challenge in the first place. I also saw that Lucy was using plywood panels to paint on, something that appealed to me as they would be easy to store and easy to transport.

I didn't really take into account how this ply would perform. Oh my goodness this wood was as thirsty as dog on a hot summers day- I hated it! Really though I didn't hate it, I just didn't understand it.

If you are going to work with wood panels its just worth noting they take an extra bit of TLC to prep them. To be honest I still don't use as much gesso to prime them as I maybe should but we get along fine now. The beauty of them as well though is you can sand them... so if you don't like something then grab the sand paper and banish that mark. (Thanks Lucy for this advice)

Apart from the obvious challenges I was facing, learning how to use a new material. I also had that comparison beast on my back. This is a beast that doesn't have any redeeming features so bin it off as quickly as you can.

I use Instagram as the main tool for promoting my work, (I'm just going to avoid going into detail a minute about how badly the changes on the app are affecting small businesses), but through Instagram as a part of the Artist Support Pledge I would see artists sell their work in literally seconds. I wanted to be a part of this. I hadn't experienced this phenomenon, I wanted to feel as successful as those artists must have felt selling work so quickly.

My first piece didn't sell quickly, neither did my second, or third, or forth. Ok so now I felt like a complete D*ck- sorry there is no other way to put this. I had wholeheartedly and proudly announced I was doing this challenge, shouting from the rooftops that I would make 100 portraits and then when they sell I will buy art from other artists. Nothing was selling- So of course that made me think my work was rubbish and everyone would see that, and see what a complete D*ck I was.

These are the first 3 paintings from the challenge (there is still one piece left from the challenge HERE)

I'm not a D*ck

Looking back now I know that people weren't thinking this about me, and to be honest if they did then it's likely the issue they have is with themself and not me.

Also a little secret... people aren't watching you that closely! They aren't going to know how quickly something sold, not unless they missed out on buying it themself, and they certainly aren't going to think worse of you for trying to embrace a passion you have and make a go of it.

I now understand that everything I was thinking was because I was too focused about what others thought about me rather than what I thought about myself. I felt that I needed other peoples approval to make me, in my eyes, a successful artist.

It didn't actually take that long, and with a lucky share by a bigger account on Instagram, my work was seen by a wider audience and pieces started to sell.

I am extremely grateful for this - but the "who does she think she is" thought does still cross my mind when I am making noise, whether that be just by talking about my work, or sharing knowledge.... even whilst writing these blogs.

"Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway" *

- Susan Jeffers

* I've not read this book but the title summed up my mindset at the time.

Thank you so much again for reading my blog

with love and thanks

Flo x

Realising "I'm not a D*ck" .... The early challenges of the 100 heads Portrait painting project