Hopefully you have read my previous blog post about the idea behind our “Hidden in full view” project- if not then feel free to click here to have a read as then this blog will make a lot more sense!

In terms of the volunteers for the project I knew very little, in fact nothing, about the person behind the photos, I wanted to not know too much so that I had a response based on my instincts not my knowledge. I also didn’t know what each person would do with the prop. Just because I sent someone a red nose, didn’t mean that had to wear it on their nose, they could do anything with it so long as it formed a part of the photo that was sent to me. I gave no guidance as to what to do, all I asked for was clear photos that included their face!!

My first 3 “props” I sent to volunteers, I specifically chose to relate to the circus. The very first volunteer to send me photos, received a clowns red nose. I am interested in the history of the Circus, from how it evolved to the costumes performers wear and their meanings.

I think for most people if you were to mention the word “Circus”, one of the first images your brain would arrive at, when it comes to performers, would be the clown. The clowns red nose is considered the smallest of all masks.

Strangely, my first instinct was to paint from a reference photo, where the red nose and face was entirely visible,but I didn’t want the red nose to stand out. I was thinking how our masks actually become a part of us, known to us, but invisible to others. This is why I chose to do a tonal painting. The painting is a tiny 10cm square, and I think I chose this scale, purely out of nerves. I didn’t want to arrive on this project too brave and bold, but more with an air of sneaking in and growing as the project progresses.

This is the second painting from the references I was sent, and it is called “Being seen”. It is also available under my original art page.

The colours I chose were for purely aesthetic purposes, I wanted to contrast the green/olive colour with the nose but felt that the red, that would have been the colour of the nose, was just too bold. I also incorporated the pink colour into areas of the portrait again to infer the idea that our masks become a part of us. I chose this reference picture because for me represents the inner conflict of both wanting to be seen and at the same time remain invisible. I also think that my bold brushstrokes represent this conflict as up close they are very visible, but at a distance they merge together to create the form.

Enough of my waffle….. the star of these paintings Rachel kindly answered my questions in relation to our “Hidden in full view” project, below-

Tell me a bit about yourself….

I'm Rachel, living in Leeds and bored of life under Covid. The things I love are spending time, eating, chatting and laughing with family and friends. Married to a lovely guy, Tony, and we have a fab teenage son, Will. 

• Why did you initially volunteer for my project?

I loved your  HIFV self-portrait and thought I'd put my name in the hat. 

• Have you ever had your portrait painted before? If yes, what was the reason for this and what was the experience like?

My parents had a portrait painted of my sister and I. We were kids and I remember the boredom of sitting still.  They tried to offload the painting  to us recently so expect it's been in the loft for years!!

• Why do you think your parents chose to have a portrait painted rather than a photograph?

 They knew the artist and liked his work. 

• How do you normally feel about having your photo taken?

I’m happy to have a snap or selfie taken with family and friends but more formal is less my thing.

•  Why do you think you feel different about more formal photographs being taken?

I prefer natural 'snap' style shots, where we're captured as naturally as possible. Some of my favourite family photos are not 100% focused or composed. 

• What was your initial reaction to the “prop” you were sent? And did it generate any ideas straight away?

I liked that it was simple and that I knew what to do with it....but in terms if ideas I was a bit stuck. I toyed with idea of clown make up but couldn't get over the self conscious hurdle. 

• Why do you think you felt self conscious about applying clown make up?

That I was was forcing myself to be someone else.

• Who took the photos of you for the project and why?

My hubby was going to help and was up for it, but I felt self conscious and went down the selfie route over a couple of days.

• I completely appreciate feeling self conscious about others taking our pictures, but why do you think you found it easier to take the photos yourself when your husband was happy to help?

I'm really not sure! He was on board with the project, yet I didn't want to feel I was posing in front of him. It's a difficult question to answer as I showed him all the shots when done. Probably need an psychologist to help decipher that one! 

• Did you feel different to how you normally would feel having your photo taken because you had a “prop” to work with? If yes, then why do you think it felt different?

Yes definitely. You can see from all the faces I pulled, the red nose brought on some clown-like behaviour yet i didn’t start out with any set idea to do that. Popped the red nose on, and  the silly expressions came pretty naturally! 

•  Do you have any vision for the painting I will be making?

No. I'm intrigued if you can be inspired by the snaps. 

•  How do you feel about having your portrait painted from the photos you have sent me?

A little nervous  but excited too. We swapped emails recently about a commission yet I am uncomfortable being recognised in a portrait. This will help us work all that out I'm sure! 

Thank you so much for reading and an extra thank you to Rachel for taking part. Rachel sent me such a variety of photos - it was beautiful to see Rachel’s interaction with the prop, and I am sure that further into this project I would have selected different photos to work from, but nevertheless I think these paintings represent where I am with this project at the moment.

Flo x